How often do you find yourself saying verbatim what was once said to you as a parent or a coach?
Just about every night after saying goodnight, we spend a few minutes laying with our bums. Sometimes they fall asleep in that time. Most of the time they don’t. When they don’t, occasionally it’s because they’re excited about something or simply not quite ready for bed.
Tonight was a night Miss Ruby was not quite ready, so she was jabbering on about this, that, or the other. When I decided I’d had enough, I said, “if you continue to do x, I will do y”. Which is me taking something away or removing myself from cuddle time. Now, what kind of message does that send? Hint: [my] love is conditional depending on how YOU behave...
Immediately, like I’d just caught myself before getting too close to the edge of a cliff (you know that feeling), I cringed at those words! Why have I said that?
Sure, you could argue what I said is not so bad, and I get it. But let’s be real. That’s coercion.
In other words, *trauma*
I said those words because they were part of my programming under the heading, “acceptable”, having grown up “disciplined” like so many others.
If I’m committed to breaking generational cycles of status quo parenting/coaching, I owe it to my warrior princesses to question every last word that leaves my lips. Above all, I owe it to MYSELF to stay true.
Parenthood is a trip lol
What was the last thing you challenged your thinking on?