This is the moment my career changed.

After many years, the weight of my own desire to win and be the best had laid it’s full weight upon my shoulders, finally crushing me.

By virtue of my sheer will, I was actually laying the foundation for my own prison.

For, whatever force of your desire, your fear will be it’s equal.

Few will succeed in spite of this fact. Most don’t.

Here post competition, I am dejected. I want to give up. I want to run away.

How could everything be going so well only to go so poorly so soon after? Why was this happening to me? All of these questions emerge one way or the other.

And they are all irrelevant.

Then this precious little girl in her favorite pink bucket hat walks over. Gives me a hug. And stays with me for several minutes.

A realization. A shift. Instantly, I am “different.”

This is the moment I freed myself from the shackles of my egoic mind (where it concerns competition). What’s commonly referred to as the “will to win”. Or “competitive spirit.” Etc.

I don’t know if this kind of lesson is easily accessible to most simply by me sharing *my* experience. I had to go through what I went through for this flash of truth to hit me.

Likewise, you will have to go through yours.

Since this moment, I became USA Champion twice more. Trials runner up. Earned another Olympic team berth, made 2 World Championship teams and defended my PanAmerican Games gold medal.

But more importantly, I *loved* throwing again. I loved throwing again because I saw value outside of my own pursuits.

I saw that I was truly loved regardless of the distance I threw. Or the teams I made.

When you feel the love, what need is there for confidence?

Love what you do. Or find what you love.

Don’t stop till you do.

♾